54. Tested and Tarnished

54. Tested and Tarnished

It takes a lifetime to accumulate wisdom. Those of us who are lucky enough to live long enough have been granted the opportunity to become wise by experience and a personal search for knowledge. Wisdom is not a quality always appreciated by the young who burst upon the world with great enthusiasm and endeavour.

But part of living is always the ‘terribile quotidianum’ (Latin) which translates as ‘the terrible daily grind’. Many saints such as our Lasallian saint, Brother Mutien Marie of Malonne, have become holy by their fidelity to the ‘terribile quotidianum’. (pronounced tare – rib – ill – ay)

I recall some media reports expressing shock that the saintly Mother Theresa had moments of depression and feeling faithless. Yet she remained cheerful and determined. In Southern Sudan I have come very clearly to appreciate her example. Life is never handed to anyone on a silver platter. It can appear to be but each person must cope with the personal struggle of his or her own limitations as a human being. We may like to act like gods but we have feet of clay. I may be a confident, competent person, but life teaches me my limitations. That is the beginning, I trust, of wisdom.

What a gift it is to be cheerful and enthusiastic! Our Claretian Father Joseph is such a gift as he welcomes people with enthusiasm and warmth, be they Sudanese or expatriate. To shift the image slightly, he is a ‘pied piper’ to the local children, greeting, encouraging and gently chastising when required. I often reflect on the parable of the talents: ‘To whom much is given, much is expected.’

Recently, I spent two hours here talking to an ordinary but extraordinary couple from Canada who are here to follow up on their generous work with, and for, the poor in this country. Their work of love began eighteen years ago in Eritrea where they became friends with one of our dynamic Brothers, Amilcare Boccuccia, an Italian who has devoted much of his life to empowering the African people. Amilcare became a Brother almost by accident. He did not attend a Brothers’ school as a boy but somehow found himself in the situation and the challenge of making a difference as `Brother’ to those whom he meets. It usually takes time to make a difference. It always takes courage to believe that we can make a difference. It is a gift to be cheerful; it is a gift to believe we can make a difference.

To be honest, I have to admit I do not find life in Southern Sudan to be easy. It takes me out of my comfort zone; but I believe it takes me on a journey into God. I see many young people here working for NGOs, among them girls who look even younger to me as each year passes. Why are they here in the full flourishing of their womanhood? Most seem to me to be vulnerable yet they are cheerful, courageous, confident and, overwhelmingly, ambassadors of hope. Courage and vitality are alive.

It is okay for a tarnished and tattered, ageing man to be here but what brings these enthusiastic and energetic angels of peace to Sudan? I find myself thinking that life is there to be grasped, to be made meaningful by what we give, not be what we gather. Life is about giving rather than accumulating. I am inspired by the number of ordinary people I see doing extraordinary things in Southern Sudan. They are not escaping the ‘terribile quotidianum’: they are grasping it and energising it.

Winston Churchill once wrote:

‘We make a living by what we get; we make a life by what we give.’

At times I am astounded at the resources the world is pouring into Southern Sudan through the UN and NGOs; but more importantly I am encouraged by this manifestation of the conscience of this world. It is more blessed to give than receive. - Br Bill