52. A Slice of Ham - by Br. Bill Firman

52. A Slice of Ham

On Friday morning, 22^nd October, our Solidarity with Southern Sudan community in Juba met at 6:45am in the chapel of the Daughters of St Paul community who live next door. At the request of the Pauline Sisters, our SSS Father Joseph celebrated the Eucharist in remembrance of Blessed Timothy Giaccardo, the first priest in the new congregation of the Society of St Paul which began in 1914 and a man who dedicated his life to teaching and spreading the Gospel message. Not that I knew anything about him until this mass!

One very noticeable fact about living as a religious in Southern Sudan is the great interaction and support the members of the various religious congregations and the priests offer to one another. Social life is very limited indeed and one learns to enjoy simple treats that never seemed remarkable in the more affluent circumstances in which I have spent most of my life. Here I find myself living with humble and dedicated people who each display the gift of holiness in his, or her, own unique way.

I am convinced that none of us think of ourselves as ‘holy’. All of us live with the knowledge of our own human weakness that is simply part of our condition. All of us are tested by the struggles in life that can sometimes seem almost to overwhelm us. Some of the words of one of my great mentors and friend, Brother Damien, come to mind:

“We grow old not by having birthdays but by deserting ideals. Passing years may wrinkle the skin but lost enthusiasms wrinkle the spirit. We are old indeed when the central places of our heart are covered by the snows of pessimism and the ice of cynicism… … We Christians live with the virtue of hope, which is the ability to dream, and when we lose this we begin to die by centimetres."

I live with hopeful people, people who urge and pray for peace, who dream of a better future for the people of Sudan who have endured generations of subjugation. The paths we tread at times seem risky and potentially perilous but what better thing is there to do than journey in hope with people who have no other option? There is no snow of pessimism here although there are other elements that could make one shrivel and wither. Our principal gifts to the people here are encouragement and accompaniment.

This past week I have taught seven hours of theology to the third year class at the Catholic University. I have enjoyed the interaction, and I think the students have as well, even if they find some of the work difficult. The Catholic University was started by a Jesuit priest, Father Mike Schultheis, now in his late seventies. On Friday, before I gave out a multiple choice test paper, I wrote, perhaps a little mischievously, a sample question on the Board with the instruction that one has to circle the most appropriate answer. The question said:

Fr Mike is: A. handsome; B. athletic; C. funny; D. pretty; E. helpful.

The overwhelming, spontaneous class response was ‘E. helpful’. It was a clear affirmation of this humble yet persistent man who is trying to improve the opportunities for the people of Sudan at a time in life when many others would say: ‘Enough is enough’. Of course, enough can be enough. Perhaps one of the the biggest challenge in life as we approach the later years is trying to come to terms with our declining abilities. I am unashamedly practising avoidance behaviour for as long as I can.

After the mass of Blessed Timothy, we joined the Sisters of St Paul for breakfast where, to my surprise, they produced some humble, ham slices. No, it was not ham-off-the-bone nor smoked gourmet ham; just wonderful, packaged ham slices, the first I have seen in fourteen months. Breakfast of ham and eggs was a special treat. You appreciate what you have more when you have less. That’s something I am learning. If you have everything, what is there left to hope for?

- Br Bill